Back on the Streets

Sorry I haven't updated the blog in a few days but I've been unable to make any entries, due to various unfortunate events. On Friday night I went out to get a can of grape soda and a package of Twinkies, when I was accosted by two undercover policemen who said they suspected me of carrying an explosive device. I should explain. Whe I moved to New York, the only place I could find at a price I could afford is the place which I currently share with a great guy named Duncan, who is a security guard at the Ground Zero site. In fact, our apartement is in a trailer that is located on the Ground Zero site.
Anyway, these two police officers said they were following up on intelligence they received that said someone was going to blow up the Grounhd Zero site. They told me they would have to give me an internal cavity search. I thought it was strange that they wanted to do it on the street, and I didn't realize that it involved a serving spoon, but I wanted to cooperate as I feel that policemen should always be cooperated with. They poked nad prodded and of course found nothing
Something rather inexplicable happened after the two policeman left me there on the street. I was removing the spoon from my rectum when a police car pulled up with two uniformed officers and I was arrested for rude behavior. They did not believe my story about the two undercover officers and thought I was walking around with a serving spoon up my a-hole just for fun. I kept trying to convince them but they just called me names like 'pervert', 'fucking idiot', 'spoon-ass' and 'dickhead.' In fact they pretty much settled on 'dickhead', and they threw me into a cell, where I sat until Monday morning when I was brought up before a judge who gave me a $500 fine for lewd behavior. I told him how the policemen called me dickhead, and he just said' can you blame them?' So all in all I think I got some pretty unfair treatment from the police, but I don't hold it against the because you just don't know who is a terrorist and a pervert and if I have to have a few rights violated and a few things stuck in orifices, well that's just the price we pay for living in a free society.